Literally been feeling guilty about not practising yoga. I KNOW how ironic especially since the whole mantra about the darn practice is to breathe, relax and let go of what’s not serving you. So after almost a year of planning and not attending I am resigning myself to letting go of the emotion of guilt. Screw it…. I didn’t go, and I haven’t gone…class was probably really awesome…I wanted to go, but apparently not that badly.
The feeling of holding guilt over the list of things you could have, should have, would have done is just poisonous. The pressure to do something epic with your sweet short amount of free time is overwhelming and unproductive (something Stylist’s Katie Faithful-Williams amazingly shared similar insights on Issue 303 pg 43). I somehow fell in love with the practice and how it made me feel, obsessed over inspiring images of people in yoga positions I only wished I could do. I kept saying if I keep going, I’ll get to that level. I mean yoga had everything, from elegance, solitude, one on one time with the teacher, to even lovely classmates you could count on seeing every week. But I never returned, and falling short of all it…just felt crappy. Perhaps, its absence was a sign how much joy the practice brought me?
Not matter how much joy it brought me, its absence did not have to warrant useless energy sucking emotions as a replacement! I needed to learn to love where I am in my practice, whether I return to the mat or not. So here are pictures of me magnificently not quite nailing the yoga positions. I’m becoming content with the fact that in that moment of attending, I was present and grateful. I am also discovering that there ain’t no shame in not training, gyming, working on side hustles. There is a glory and mindfulness that can be found in doing activities such as absolutely nothing on the couch, or absolutely making the most of a week night out! These play an important role in making up what it means to be me…a lady that likes to bum around,be silly, and have a good time with no agenda.
Knowing that its important to stay healthy, if its yoga that I’m craving to practice, I will trust myself that if my heart truly desires it, I’ll be on that mat in a jiffy! But what I won’t do is be down about not being ‘perfectly’ committed to going to all the classes and confidently leave it un-ticked on my list. I can do this because life isn’t about ticking all the stuff off the to do list, its about bloody getting on with life and fighting to enjoy every minute. Yoga gave me peace, happiness, excitement and a challenge, and these are all things you can also find off the mat too. So FOMO (Fear of missing out)…be gone..because where I’m at, is where its at!